Thursday, May 30, 2013

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Bullies Don’t Win


Bullies Don’t Win

By: Flowering Spring Tree
May 30, 2013

Bullies don’t win.  It’s as simple as that.  People who are bullies may think that their words and actions hurt, harass, and intimidate others.  Why, their bullying behaviors may even drive their targets to commit suicide.  But, it is not the targets who have lost.  The targets of bullies have won; the bullies have lost.

In our world in which people are often so attracted to money, glamour, fame, power, and prestige, bullies find a perfect playing ground, only they are not playing.  Because bullies often have no conscience, and are unable to relate to others, incapable of placing themselves in their targets’ shoes and feeling what they are feeling as victims, bullying is definitely not a game.  For some targets of bullies, bullying is a life or death situation.  The only difference is that the targets care, and the bullies do not.  Bullies do not care if they are so harassing, controlling, and hurtful that they drive their targets to suicide.  In fact, bullies appear to take joy and satisfaction in harming their targets, often who are good, sweet people who are, in some way, a threat to them. 

That’s really what it’s all about.  Control.  Power.  Intimidation.  Harassment.  And, when that is not enough, bullies degrade their targets to other bullies, and before one knows it, a gang of bullies is harming the target.  The target becomes depressed, isolated, and alone, feeling helpless, hopeless, and like there is no way out.  The target believes there is no way to escape the emotional pain, fear, loneliness, and hurt but by committing suicide.  In this way, targets of bullying are driven to suicide.  Targets feel that there is no one in the world there to support or help them.  By then, they are likely so depressed that their emotions are spiraling out of control into even deeper sadness and hopelessness.  This is why targets of bullying kill themselves.  In the end, they believe they just can’t take it anymore.  They want the bullying to stop, but it worsens, escalates, and becomes larger than life.  It becomes too painful to bear.  That is why so many victims of bullying commit suicide.

Bullies have to harm others in order to feel good about themselves.  Bullies are extremely insecure about themselves, and often need an entourage of fellow bullies and/or an audience that supports their exploits.  Bullies, typically, have been bullied, themselves.  This is how they know to behave.  This may be the only way they know of interacting with others – taunting, teasing, harassing, degrading, intimidating, controlling, and bullying them.  For bullies, bullying is a common way of life; it is normal.  Bullying is something that bullies have grown up with or have otherwise learned.  They have found that bullying hurts others and gets them what they want – power, control, and that “feel good” emotion.  Unfortunately, it truly does not feel good, and so they keep doing it, hoping that it will create more good feelings for them and fill the void of insecurity and emptiness inside.

For all of these reasons, bullies don’t win.  Bullies will never win.  When bullies think they are winning, they are, in reality, losing.  It is the strong, compassionate, sweet, and sensitive person who is being bullied who has won – even though that person feels as though he or she is losing.  The person who believes that he or she must withstand and tolerate all of the bullying is the strong one.  The target of bullying, however, is not practicing self-help behaviors by trying to ignore or overlook their oppressor’s behaviors.  In the hope that the bully will stop his or her hurtful and harassing behaviors, the targets try to be strong.  Sadly, the bullies view such behavior as weak.  Too often, people are taught in our society to handle things on their own.  But, bullies cannot and should not be handled, independently.  And, this is another reason why targets may end up killing themselves; they have tried to cope with it all on their own. 

So the real winners in any bullying situation are the targets, even though the targets do not feel that way.  The bullies don’t win, they lose, and they will always lose as long as they continue their bullying attitudes and behaviors.  Therefore, until people are intelligent and supportive enough of targets to investigate and uncover the truth into bullying, bullies will continue to lose, even though they think they have won.  And, even in death from suicide, the targets of bullying have won, even though they believe they have lost.  The targets have won; the bullies have lost – plain and simple.

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  1. blogbymichele said... May 31, 2013 at 10:50 AM

    It is important to reach out to and support victims and survivors of bullying. Repeated bullying experienced by individuals creates overwhelming stress on the brain, causing a decrease in cognitive function, and increased possibility of depression that can lead to suicide. When you see, hear, or read of the bullying of someone against another, please step up, get involved, make your voice heard. Your support of victims and survivors of bullying is important - it could help save a life. Please share your thoughts.

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