The Different
Faces of Bullies
by Flowering Spring Tree
Throughout
my life, there are different types of people whom I have experienced as
bullies. Typically, bullies have
directly and openly presented themselves to me as those who are mean-spirited,
hurtful, angry, jealous, and insecure.
In other instances, there have been those who have been bullies toward
me who have hidden their agendas behind false smiles and fake kindnesses. It is these bullies who behave as if they are
friends, though who really have harmful, ulterior motives in mind about whom I
believe people must be most cautious and aware.
Those
bullies who are openly mean and nasty are those whom one expects to always be
harming in some way to others. I would
like to suggest that the bullies who behave as though they are friendly and
kind, but who are actually somehow harming or injurious behind the scenes are
those who are most dangerous. Those who
place their trust in people who appear to be kind, friendly, helpful, and/or
supportive – but who really are not – are at great risk for losses in their
physical, mental, emotional, and financial safety and security.
These
types of situations can apply to children who trust and rely upon adults who
appear to be kind, but who are actually bullies or worse. How many children have trusted a seemingly
kind adult, only to be harmed in some way?
There are other incidents involving the elderly who are preyed upon by
bullies who scam and convince them to hand over monies to them. Other types of situations may be experienced
by women in relationships, for example; a woman may be in a relationship with a
controlling or domineering partner who bullies or harms her in some way.
Bullying
can take on all shapes and sizes, all backgrounds, and all ages, races, and
genders. Kids may bully other kids;
adults may bully other adults; adults may bully children; and other scenarios,
as well. One of the biggest areas of
trust that bullies – and others – have created in our society is of people
feeling anxious and/or cautious about those who are genuinely kind, friendly,
helpful, and supportive. There are
bullies who appear to be friendly and kind, but who are not; and there are
those who actually are friendly and kind.
Those who are truly kind and good may lose heart due to the harmful
actions of those who behave in a kindly way, but who are not actually good.
Due
to the harm and mistrust caused by bullies and those who do not have others’
best interests in mind, our society has lost the element of people being able
to trust those who are genuinely good people.
Our society now leans more toward the side of caution and mistrust
because, so often, one does not know who to trust. It is the same with bullies. It is always easier to decide that an openly
mean or injurious person is a bully rather than one who appears kind and
friendly, and who is actually a bully.
Bullies
have taken too much from our society in the way of emotional security. I am left to wonder if we will ever get that
back? Therefore, I must ask what you are
doing today to do your part to be kind, friendly, helpful, and supportive of
others. What are you doing to place
yourself in another’s shoes, to try to relate, and to try to understand what he
or she is experiencing? What are you
doing to be a guide, role model, and leader for others in the ways of goodness
and kindness? Have you complimented
another today? Have you asked others if
there is anything you could do for them today?
Remember that a kind gesture could make someone’s day, especially if he
or she has experienced bullying, whether open or concealed. You can
make a difference!
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