YES WORDS CAN HURT, BUT...
by Normandy D. Piccolo
You’ve made me cry
Only you know why
Seems no matter how hard I try
My words keep getting twisted into lies
You might be slick, even a little sly
But I have a secret...
So take a breath, let out your annoying sigh
You will not defeat me, make me quit life and die
To your cruelty, torment, negativity.....I say, “Goodbye.”
To my joy, happiness and positive outlook....I say, “Hi!”
We’ve heard the original saying for years, “Sticks and Stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you”. Well I suppose that all depends on the Who, the What and the Why.
Some will argue that the classic saying is true. Others will disagree and say words most definitely hurt and can even cause long term damage to a person’s life. Then there are the head doctors who will over analyze the issue, come up with a new disorder name for it, treatment regimens, etc.. But that is another matter.
As we blossom from newborn babies into adults, there are many people who will speak into our lives. Some of their words will be positive. Some will be negative. And some will fall under the category of constructive criticism with the intention of helping us to become the best we have the potential to be..if we can’t see the possibility ourselves.
We revel when the words said to us are positive because there is acceptance and approval involved. But when the words are negative, we are left to feel isolated, unaccepted and hurt.
We are so conditioned to accept and value other peoples opinions of us. Whether it is family members, best friends, co-workers, a crush, someone we look up too, whoever. What they think of us matters to the point of affecting our mood and how we view ourselves. Why? And how can we turn that thinking around?
Sociology classes teach us that people need people. After birth we are expected to grow, learn to walk and talk, go to school, graduate, go to college, graduate, have a career, get married, have a family, retire, become grandparents and live out our golden years eating cheesecake, playing checkers, and doing prune juice shots at a nursing home until it is our time to sprout wings and hold a harp.
Because we are taught that particular life formula. Because we seek approval. And because we need people, therein lies the very root as to why it is so damaging when we get bullied. Bullying goes against everything we are taught.
In every realm, whether it is animal, insect, or human, there is always going to be a “pecking order”. Meaning, there will always be someone in charge and someone fighting to become in charge. This natural order of things does not mean bullying is an acceptable behavior in order to achieve said coveted position of being in charge. There is a difference between being a leader and a bully. Saying hurtful things to someone or about someone for no reason whatsoever other than to cause deliberate pain does not make someone a leader. It makes them a loser and a bully.
Think of your life like a pot of stew cooking on the stove and you are the Chef. The words spoken into your life represent different spiced ingredients. Those spices get added to your spice rack as your life progresses. Some of the spices you choose to accept will give your stew a sweet taste, while others will cause your stew to become bitter. As the Chef, you have control over how your life stew will taste. In other words, you have the power and authority to believe or reject words spoken about you.
I have mentioned this before, but I think it bears repeating.
Bullying is all about control. It’s about one person trying to control another. Take the control back and you win - the bully loses. It really is that simple. Nobody has the right to speak negative, hurtful stuff into your life. You have the power to reject those negative words. You are in control of your life, not a Bully.
Be confident. You have a plan and a purpose on this Earth and that plan does not involve being put down, picked on or shut out. You have better things to do with your time. Hold your head high and own the positive things about yourself and let the negative words fall by the way.
Mind over matter. You’ve got a mind and a bully’s opinion of you doesn’t matter.
Never Let A Bully Win.